red beard

It's good to get back to keeping myself up to date on what I've been doing around here all day. Don't worry they'll buy it.

 

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It's good to get back to keeping myself up to date on what I've been doing.

  I know I always feel this way when I have one foot on something really cold and the other one on something of a significantly higher temperature. I am excited to announce that one of my submissions for the Oh Tulsa! show was accepted. I can basically go to the show and then coast from here on out. 

  I think one of the hardest parts of being a full time artist is not only the anxiety of waiting to find out if your work is being accepted and taken seriously, but wondering whether or not it's being taken at all. Really, if your work isn't stolen out of some mansion in the middle of the night by an expert art thief how can you even look in the mirror as a person? Luckily the people that print money and bibles don't have to worry about that feeling. Everyone steals money and bibles.... I wonder if anyone steals bibles for money. Sorry Jesus, gotta make wine out of two loaves and a fish, you/I know what I'm talking about.

  

     So I uploaded some pictures of things that have been going on around the studio. I will tell me about them so I can keep up to date with RedBeard Studios!

  Up next is a picture of my dog sniffing another dog's junk. My dog likes to do this but so did the manager at the rib crib I worked at when I was 16 and he was super cool. This isn't my studio. It happened a long, long time ago. I just figured now that my dog is old enough I would humiliate him in front of his friends on facebook.

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This next picture is of an acrylic piece I did for a show called "Oh Tulsa".  The show is starting August 7th at Living Arts of Tulsa. This painting is 5'x5' and I painted it by my self. I can ride a bicycle and drive a car with my knees but not at the same time, but I already knew that. I once got hit in the face with a bat when I was on my bike. It didn't even hurt. I'm not sure if it still got the bug it was after but it's fur reminded me of Diane Rehm's pillow and it's wafty essence. She is no Terry Gross, but oh buddy... I would giver her the factual account of why my cable provider was skimming megabytes from me and my new age microwave (he does hot yoga for crisps sake) and then just drop the hint that if she ever wanted to uncover some kind of political scandal in my city, she would need to pay a lot of wealthy people off just to get started. Like entire boards that control zoning and taxes, but who cares. It's not like people are thirsty somewhere. 

Notice that bitchin' frame work. I did that too. I didn't grow the fibrous plant material into a tree or harvest said tree; but I divided that wood into appropriate sized units like a pro.  Next, I hired a team of scientist  and they devel…

Notice that bitchin' frame work. I did that too. I didn't grow the fibrous plant material into a tree or harvest said tree; but I divided that wood into appropriate sized units like a pro.  Next, I hired a team of scientist  and they developed special chemicals so I could sand, stain and finish my units. LEVEL UP!!!!!

  

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I painted this crap live at Mayfest on Sunday. Not Sure which Sunday, but if you were there you saw me handle that paint like an artist handles paint in front of a small, moderately interested group of people. I was on point and I am not sure what happened to this painting, if you bought it please see me about giving me some money, otherwise see first paragraph. 9MAKING PROGRESS!!!0  sic huh!?

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This is some stuff you did for a local couple here in Tulsa.  All of the finished work went in their home and was probably the coolest thing since that live action Aladin with Kirk Cameron and Kareem Abdul Jabar.

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This is a picture I accidentally took when I was walking the dog. Wait, no not "walking the dog". You know, like walking the dog. (see second photo from top)

HERE IS A BLURRY PHOTO AN AWESOME PAINTING YOU DID FOR YOUR CLIENTS. THEY THOUGHT YOU DID AN AWESOME JOB. WAY TO GO ddduuuudddeeee11111   NOT THIS AGAIN. HOLD ON, I HAVE TO RESENT MY MODEM AND TESTTHE

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I'm back. I fixed it. You did a great job ddduuuudddeee!!!! This next photo is one you took before you fixed your camera and you shouldn't judge yourself on it's technical greatness. It's a piece of wood and it's been blessed by a rill bit chip and I can make more and sell them after attaching them to my paintings. I am glad no one will read this, I am so confused. Maybe I'll make a map.

There is also some of my distal digits in here, unfortunately there was just no way to include my thenar eminence without moving my hand all the way around. LIFE IS HARD DAMNIT!!

There is also some of my distal digits in here, unfortunately there was just no way to include my thenar eminence without moving my hand all the way around. LIFE IS HARD DAMNIT!!

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This is a baby stingray. His name would be hard to say if you were under water. Idk where he is anyways, this is just a photo and he is probably in some guys back pocket by now.

 

 

 

 

    don't worry he wouldn't suffocate or anything. WALLETS DON'T SUFFOCATE.

 

   it looks like someone's soul being released from the ethereal plane, and also a future fashion accessory.

This is Peter Hay. You painted his portrait for a show back in may. It's probably hanging in the Sphinx or something now. Maybe it will get stolen!

This is Peter Hay. You painted his portrait for a show back in may. It's probably hanging in the Sphinx or something now. Maybe it will get stolen!

I'm so glad I got this opportunity to give myself something for me to do. Normally I just think to me, "hey me, I gotta things". So this was a smell what your steppin' in the right defective. Don't forget Full House marathon plays constantly in your head on Mondays at Friday's at 7.  Actually it's just the opening credits.

    Sinclair E.,

  From: Redbeard Studios Tulsa

  To: Charles Caleb Burgess

              stamps

         kale/spinach

      those chips your wife likes to feed the neighbor's dog so he can't fit through the fence

     4lbs partially ground beef

    3 pounds of that new glow in the dark salt from russia.

  2lbs grind your own potato flour

   those little mini cheese wheels that you need your manager to open

  TP

 WET wipes

Industrial soap

      hot pockets

   lean pocket

   old timey farmers almanac at checkout line. You are going to make it happen this year!

season one of pickers

2,3,5 and 7 also

night train

velveta

low sodium dorritos

diet coke